Loving oneself is the foundation to show us as we are. The greater love we provide, the greater our ability to accept and be authentic.
- 1 What is self-esteem?
- 2 Why is healthy self-esteem important?
- 3 keys to love yourself
What is self-esteem?
Swiss psychologist Carl Rogers considered self-esteem as the constitution of the basic core of personality, explaining that the root of many people's problems was in the feeling of contempt for themselves. Virginia Satir meanwhile said that "Self-esteem consists mainly of two things: feeling worthy of being loved and feeling capable"and on the other hand, for the psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden this concept corresponded to the experience and possibility of leading a meaningful life, including two essential components of self-esteem: a feeling of personal worth and a feeling of personal capacity.
A more up-to-date view on this term can be found with the psychiatrist Luis Rojas Marcos who defines self-esteem as the feeling of either appreciation or rejection, from the global assessment we make of ourselves.
As we see there are many definitions depending on the author we go to. However, all agree that Self-esteem is how we value ourselves.Now, the degree in how we do it will depend on how we will feel later. The problem is that nobody has taught us very well how to do it.
Why is healthy self-esteem important?
Self-esteem is present in everything we do.Whatever we do, the way we value ourselves is inherently found in each of us. If we think we are worthy and capable, we will work in favor of it but if on the contrary we believe that we are useless, our own thoughts will not let us even try. Self-esteem is our secret ingredient. That is why it is so important.
But this way of valuing us has to deal with the valuations of others day by day and that is where we have to pay attention because it can become a great danger, leading to a loss of love for ourselves. If we let others define us and tell us how far we can go we will be lost ...
Conformity is a trap that prevents us from growing and distances us from us. If we don't consider ourselves, one day we will wake up thinking that our life is far from what we wanted and we will feel strange. Hence, the importance of loving and valuing ourselves, of defending who we are and showing ourselves to have a healthy self-esteem. Because, what is more preferable: being as others tell us and betraying ourselves or acting as we are?
Keys to love yourself
From time to time it is convenient to stop to ask how we are. Worrying about us is a sign of emotional maturity that will allow us to grow towards well-being. And no, we are being selfish when our goal is to look for what we need and it does us good, we are taking care of ourselves. Practicing self-love is necessary to be happy, but how to do it?
Loving oneself is not a simple task precisely because they have never taught us. Investing in us and lighting the flame of self-love is possible,although we must not forget that it involves a great job and effort. But its results are worth it. Here are some keys to start doing it:
- Consider yourself a valuable person. Your mistakes and failures do not define you, your value transcends beyond. You are not your results but your ability to survive, to succeed in complicated situations. You are a valuable person.
- Accept yourself. Loving oneself implies accepting oneself, recognizing oneself as a person with their strengths and aspects to improve. If you accept yourself, you automatically reject the possibility of fighting with yourself.
- Eliminate guilt.Feeling bad about what happened doesn't solve anything. The fault lies in the past and the only time you can act is now that instead of settling in your laments, act to improve those you need. To suffer for what you cannot change immobilizes you.
- Do not please others to be well.Being complacent to others can end up destroying you. Expressing what you think and feel from respect is not bad, but living at the expense of others disconnects you from yourself. Invest in you, don't forget it!
- Set priorities.Loving oneself implies setting priorities in order to know what or who you are going to devote your time to. Your time is money, what you do with it affects you to build your dreams.
- Trust you and respect yourself.Practicing self-esteem demands trust and respect for who you are. Have the courage to treat yourself well and trust you and your qualities because when you do it the pillars that support you get stronger.
- Enjoy your times. Live intensely every moment as the main protagonist of your life and escape the automatic. Living on tiptoes distracts you and hinders your well-being.
Loving oneself in a challenge, a daily test in which we have to bet on us. Let's not forget that our authenticity grows from the love we provide.