Seek the attention of others, a human need?

Seek the attention of others, a human need?

The human being is a social being, it is natural for people to feel a need for attention and affiliation, to form links and even to have recognition from others, with it a healthy extrinsic motivation can come. However, the main recognition, satisfaction and motivation to achieve your goals must come primarily from within yourself... Of the work of your daily activities, of enjoying your achievements and the learning and gratifications that the path towards them leaves you.


  • 1 The theory of human needs
  • 2 How big is your desire to be recognized?
  • 3 Excess recognition in childhood
  • 4 Lack of parental attention towards their children
  • 5 Satisfy personal self-esteem

The theory of human needs

Abraham Maslow, one of the main exponents of the humanist current within psychology, developed The Theory of Human Needs and made a pyramid based on their hierarchy. In the base, it has in the first instance, the basic physiological needs, these contribute to the being as an organism can be in homeostasis or physiological balance; the second step concerns the need for security in different aspects. When these two are sufficiently satisfied, then the individual can develop more fully, towards others of a higher level and so on until they reach the self realisation.

Currently, with the use of social networks, it is very common that many of these interactions are made by these means, They give us the opportunity to strengthen our bond with people we appreciate, allows us to share and exchange ideas, images and messages at high speed with people who are physically far from us, allows us to share our achievements and sometimes even our disappointments and worries of life, being able to find support in our social network, but When does this reflect a need for psychological attention?

How big is your desire to be recognized?

Do you spend too much time in projecting the image you want and then after this, in rectifying for which and for how many people you became visible? Do you give yourself the time you deserve and you need to fully enjoy the pleasant moments that life gives you and the people around you, are you paying them the attention and respect they deserve or are you more worried about see how many likes you got for the photo what did you take with them? Do you give yourself the energy and time you deserve or provide more of these resources in projecting your image to others?

The self-concept is formed in our early stages of life, when it is not adequately strengthened and nurtured in the corresponding stages of development, the individual will try to satisfy this need through agents external to him, that is to say, that he will try to seek the esteem and recognition he does not have of himself in others; this need for attention can be inconvenient for the subject, since it can fall into harmful behaviors and companies, generally in search of containment and recognition in the affiliation to those links; You can try to do things that go against your values ​​even to fit into a social group, with someone you feel your affection is necessary for, you can fall into addictive high-risk behaviors, to name a few cases, all this because of your need vehemently attentive, their own internal lack of recognition and appreciation.

There are people that they are constantly in search of obtaining approval that they do not find sufficient or satisfactory within themselves; This in many cases occurs because the father figures were too demanding, and in their eagerness to seek to improve their skills they created the feeling that “They were not good enough”.

Excess recognition in childhood

There is also the case where a feeling of “is generatedinvisibility”In children, when parents disproportionately enlarge any achievement obtained by their children, trying to put it even above that of others, inflating his “ego"Inappropriately and out of real context, it happens when those"praise”They go beyond reality and are exorbitant; Most children are smart enough to notice this fact, for example:What a wonderful work, that watercolor looked good on you. It sure is the best they have presented at school! ”When it is a painting that would not have that opportunity to be before others who have done and which the child admires for being in those needs, he himself knows that he did not try so hard this time being sincere with himself, but receives a "big celebration for it”.

When it is used without restraint and often to material awards, as well as praise and attention to reward or reinforce behavior, a conditioning can be established where the individual can hardly find satisfaction in himself, neither in the achievement of the construction process that the same task has in itself, nor in small samples of admiration, but it will require more attention or more and more stimulating prizes, otherwise you may feel that “not good enough" Well, he is used to excessive and somewhat exaggerated attention.

This people they could in the future perform actions in order to be seen by others, even negatively, Well, it's attention anyway.

Lack of parental attention towards their children

On the opposite pole, some children who are ignored by their parents or tutors learn to draw attention in that way, which is why they are often indifferent to the consequences, because they are usually accustomed to punishment, because it is a way they pay attention to them.

It is normal for the young child to seek affirmation abroad, therefore, it is necessary from the early stages of his life to promote self-assessment and self-recognition. When young children start asking:how I look?, this looking for a compliment, when they put effort into their personal arrangement, for example, it is good to make loving eye contact by putting us at their physical height and giving your approval without words, just with your look and say: “My opinion is important, but yours is more important, what do you think if I accompany you to the mirror and tell me what you think about how you look today? Likewise, it is convenient, that when they make a mistake the behavior is indicated and not the person, it is good to avoid putting negative labels because they can hurt their selfconcept.

There are many people who spend too much time and energy trying to make them see and be recognized for some quality, whether socially accepted or not., this contributes to enhancing pride, but not esteem healthy self in all cases. It is better to try to work on building a strong self-concept for your actions and after that, personal and perhaps social recognition will surely ensue, without worrying too much about it.

It is true that many need to be heard, be seen by any means and different communication channels, they require it from their abilities to some even in their capacity, disability or even disease, biopsychosocial condition, whether real or perceived, in that way; many need others to see some ability, quality or even different abilities, it is partly the voice of minorities, who try to be included, whether they are in their abilities: physical, emotional, emotional, artistic, intellectual, social or any other nature.

Satisfy personal self-esteem

Maslow said that “the satisfaction of the need for self-esteem leads to feelings of self-confidence, worth, strength, ability and sufficiency of being useful and necessary in the world"; Therefore, it is very important that parents, guardians, teachers and leaders try to contribute to the strengthening of self-esteem, make respectful observations of behaviors and not fall into unnecessary and inappropriate connotations.

Sometimes the need for attention becomes so compelling that it is where the balance begins to unbalanceSometimes that need for attention can be pathological and contribute to the genesis or be a trigger for some latent disorder; Many people may have some pathological personality traits, however it becomes a problem that requires psychological help when: they seek affectivity in ways that harm themselves and others by creating unhealthy attachments, when they fall into excessive antagonism even before one's own life and the rights of oneself or others, when there is the presence of addictive behaviors or when they can cause their development to be affected or blocked in their personal, family, work, academic or couple aspects. When the search for attention causes significant discomfort or damage to the subject or others.

Attending the psychologist does not necessarily mean that you have any disorder, you can also find great support and many valuable resources those who want to overcome themselves and want self-realization to reach their goal or objective faster.

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