The Emotional Intelligence, according Daniel Goleman, is based on five emotional competitions. The author defines the emotional competence such as "the acquired capacity based on Emotional Intelligence that results in outstanding work performance". That is, they would be as skills acquired in the daily practice of our skills (for example, the ability to deal with the public). These capacities are necessary for the world of work, but they are no less indispensable in daily life.
- 1 Emotional self-awareness or self awareness
- 2 Emotional self-control or self-regulation
- 3 Self-motivation
- 4 Empathy or Recognition of other people's emotions
- 5 Social skills
Emotional self-awareness or self awareness
This is one ability we use to recognize our emotions and their consequences. If we want to develop this capacity, it is time to look inside. In very important to know the way in which our mood influences our behavior, what are our virtues and our weaknesses.
We can do the test with a deeply emotional event that has happened to us, let's take some time to examine it: What happened? What do we feel at that moment? What exactly did I feel in my body? (overheating, palpitations, stomach discomfort, sweat ...) How long did the feeling last? Do I think emotions affected the way you solve the situation? Did emotions have a positive or negative function? Why do we think we act that way? This dialogue with ourselves (it is more effective if we write it), can help us recognize our own emotions.
If we know our strengths, we will try to use them to solve a certain situation, if we know our weaknesses we will hide them to prevent our "Achilles heel" from being guilty of our failure.
All this will lead us to have greater confidence in ourselves and security in our abilities. This ability also allows us to express and maintain our own views apart from the general opinion of the group and make decisions despite the uncertainty and pressures.
Emotional self-control or self-regulation
Self-control allows us not to get carried away by the feelings of the moment. It is knowing how to recognize what is temporary in a crisis and what endures. We may get angry at someone at work or with a family member, but if we always let ourselves be carried away by the heat of the moment we would be continually acting irresponsibly and then asking for forgiveness for it. Who has not ever been angry? Surely we have all felt at some point this emotion, because there are always reasons to be angry, although these are rarely good.
Another of unpleasant emotions that harasses us regularly is sadness, although we must not forget that this state of mind, like any other, has its positive facets, as long as it does not become a state that interferes with your life. Thus, for example, in the face of an irreparable loss, sadness provides us with a reflective refuge that leads us to a period of withdrawal and grief necessary to assimilate our loss, helping us to reestablish ourselves and move on. But if this becomes an obsession, the concern For what depresses us, it will only serve to deepen and prolong this depression.
It means Knowing how to direct emotions towards an objective, which allows us to maintain motivation and focus our attention on the goals instead of on the obstacles. This requires a certain dose of optimism and initiative, so that we are entrepreneurs and act positively against setbacks.
An essential aspect if we want to achieve our goal is not to focus our attention on problems, but on how to overcome them. There is no use for an intelligent mind if before the first obstacle we collapse because things do not go as we wish they were.
If we stop to think about anxiety and worry we find a paradox: the same excitement and interest to do a test well motivates some students to prepare and study for the occasion, while it can sabotage others, since Your level of excitement or anxiety will be interfering with your thinking.
Empathy or Recognition of other people's emotions
Empathy is the cognitive ability to perceive what others feel. The key lies in capturing both verbal and nonverbal messages from our interlocutor. Thus, on the one hand, we have that the rational mind is transmitted through words, and on the other, that the emotional mind is transmitted through body language.
Social relations are often based on knowing how to interpret the signals that others emit unconsciously and are often nonverbal. Recognizing the emotions of others, what others feel and that can be expressed by the expression of the face, by a gesture, by a bad answer, can help us establish more real and lasting ties with the people around us. Recognizing the emotions of others is the first step to understand and identify with them.
This last area consists of the ability to know the feelings of others and to be able to do something to transform them.
By relating to others we are emitting emotional signals that affect those around us. Many of us realize that emotions are "contagious", so if someone answers us angrily we will feel angry, and if someone who is happy sits next to us and starts talking to us and laughing, we will end up laughing with him.
Thus, this art of relating to others is the ability to produce feelings in others. This ability is the basis on which popularity, leadership and interpersonal efficiency are based. People with this quality are more efficient in everything that relates to the interaction between individuals. We all know people who seem to have a special touch in dealing with others. They are nice, they usually like everyone ... but they are also able to find solutions to conflicts without aggressiveness, anger or nervousness being present.
Text extracted from the book "Emotional Intelligence, a useful guide to improve your life" by Marta Guerri
Do not forget to subscribe to our YouTube channel of Psychology and Education