Positive self-esteem in children

Positive self-esteem in children

“You have the power to become what you want to be. Raise your expectations and find out that you will become what you can think of, whatever it is ”. Wayne W. Dyer

Self esteem is essential for psychological survival. It is the concept we have of our worth and is based on all thoughts, feelings, sensations and experiences that we have been collecting about ourselves during our lives; we think we are smart or dumb; we feel unfriendly or funny; We like it or not. Thousands of impressions, evaluations and experiences thus gathered come together in a positive feeling towards ourselves or, on the contrary, in an uncomfortable feeling of not being what we expected.

One of the main factors that differentiate human beings from other animals is self-awareness: The ability to establish an identity and give it a value. In other words, you have the ability to define who you are and then decide whether or not you like your identity. The problem of self-esteem is in the human capacity for judgment. Judging and rejecting yourself produces enormous pain, considerably damaging the psychological structures that literally keep you alive.


  • 1 Self-esteem in children
  • 2 Personal power
  • 3 How to obtain and use personal power?
  • 4 You are responsible for your behavior and your feelings
  • 5 Know how to choose
  • 6 Get to know yourself
  • 7 Acquire and use power in your relationships and in your life

Self-esteem in children

The guide that we expose next It is aimed at children 6 to 12 years old and its main objective would be to achieve personal power and positive self-esteem. We believe that personal power and positive self-esteem are skills that can be learned. Although our writing is a direct dialogue with children, parents can use it as a tool to convey the issue of self-esteem,

  • What does it mean to defend yourself?
  • It means being honest with yourself
  • Speak for yourself, when this is the right measure
  • You always have someone on your side (yourself)
  • What do you need to defend yourself?

Personal power

An important part of personal power is getting to know yourself. You can't defend yourself, if you don't know who you are. You can't defend yourself, if you don't even like yourself.

How to obtain and use personal power?

Personal power means having confidence and self confidence. It consists of four parts:

  • To be responsible
  • Know how to choose
  • Get to know yourself
  • Acquire and use power in your relationships and in your life.

You are responsible for your behavior and your feelings

Sometimes other people do or say things we don't like. Maybe we get angry or frustrated. We are responsible only for our own conduct. Adults can use more and better words than children, but what they are saying is exactly the same ”I am not responsible! ". You well know that this is not true, so the next time an adult says “you forced me to do it! "You can tell yourself," I did not force that person to do anything; I am only responsible for my own behavior. " This is a way to defend yourself.

Being responsible helps you feel safe and confident within yourself. It gives you a feeling of personal power. Being responsible is not the same as being perfect. Nobody is perfect!.

No one can make you happy or unhappy, nervous or angry, bored or curious. You are responsible for your own feelings. We can decide for ourselves how we want to feel.

Know how to choose

Because you are responsible for your behavior and your feelings, you can choose them. You can choose how angry, frustrated or sad you want to feel. You can also choose to change your feelings.

An important part of learning to choose is learning to do it correctly. This begins by deciding what we expect to happen as a result of our choice, and if our expectations are realistic. We live in a culture that gives great value to success, but this has nothing to do with personal value., that is, to personally develop our best in the activities that we believe are important and to be comfortable with ourselves even when our idea of ​​“the best” is not precisely the best.

Get to know yourself

If you try too hard to please other people, it is difficult for you to get to know yourself. A good way to get to know yourself is to name and recognize your feelings, your future dreams and your needs.

Feelings have their own special names. Calling feelings by their correct name increases your personal power. Most feelings can be grouped into eight basic types. Each type includes a feeling of low and high intensity.

Low intensity

  • Interested
  • Cheerful
  • Surprised
  • Sorry
  • Fearful
  • Angry
  • Ashamed
  • Disdainful

High intensity

  • Excited
  • Happy
  • Scared
  • Distressed
  • Terrified
  • Furious
  • Humiliated
  • Disgusted

Sometimes it can be difficult to differentiate feelings: that is because you can experience more than one feeling at a time. Feelings are not wrong or adequate, good or bad; they are simply.

Your future dreams are your personal goals. These give an address to your life, a purpose and a meaning. Future dreams change. As things around you change (depending on how your interior changes) you will have to decide what you want to be and do.

Needs are neither adequate nor wrong, neither good nor bad; they simply are. There are seven basic needs that all people share.

  • The need to interact with other people
  • The need to caress and hug
  • The need to belong and feel “one” with the others
  • The need to be different and apart
  • The need to feel worthy, valued and admired
  • The need to do something for others
  • The need for power in our relationships and in our lives.

It is important that you use all your feelings, your future dreams and your needs; don't question or judge them, just experience them, name them and accept them. They belong to you.

There is a very simple way to claim your feelings, your future dreams and your needs, it is called "discuss things with yourself."

Sometimes the feelings are too difficult to handle, especially those that are not good. We feel very disturbed or fearful and very ashamed or angry that the feeling takes hold of us. In situations like this, we need a way to escape our feeling. Here we give you four tricks that you can put into practice:

  • Find something to laugh at
  • Focus your attention on something other than that feeling
  • Meditate
  • Daydream

Sometimes the best way to escape something is to look back and face it! This dream you have awake helps you face the "monster" of your intense feeling.

Acquire and use power in your relationships and in your life

There are two kinds of power that you should know: the power of the role you play and personal power. These are the differences:

The power of the role you play is something that you get "just because." Personal power is something you get because you want it and work to achieve it.

The power of the role you play depends on your having someone over whom to exercise that power. Personal power depends only on you.

Only some people can have power only for their role. But anyone can have personal courage even if many people have power over you.

Accept that some people have authority over you. Use your energy to develop your personal power. This is the way to fight for yourself.

When we care what another person thinks of us, we give that person power over us. How will you know if they are treating you with respect? Pay attention to your feelings. If being with them and learning from them pleases you and you feel good inside, then do it.

Even when you are "only a child", you are a person with power! Just think about the things you can do.

You can be responsible for your behavior and your feelings:

  • You can make choices about your behavior and your feelings
  • You can name and claim your feelings
  • You can name and claim your future dreams
  • You can name and fight for your needs
  • You can make a great escape when your feelings turn out to be too strong to handle them.
  • You can have power in your relationships with other people.

All these things increase your personal power. With personal power, you are really controlling your own life !!

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